I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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