You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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