All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
