What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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