I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
