So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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