I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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