Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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