oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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