remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize