If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
