I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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