Christians are straight up FREAKS
You just made me feel so damn special
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My feet surprised me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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