3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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