Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
