Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
