The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
