plz talk dirty to me
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
