I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize