..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
