Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
