So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
