Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
