I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
