Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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