I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
