i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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