You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize