Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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