The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
