Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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