i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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