i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
