he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
