if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
