I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The Olympian is in my bed
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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