I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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