I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
