Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The best revenge is premature balding
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize