6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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