I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
