My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize