i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
