i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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