Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
