what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
