Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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