So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
