I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
