yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize