Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
