At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
