matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
